When the Spirit Hits

On Chapter 9: Tears

Mar 14, 2025

Welcome back! I’ve been a few weeks away as we’ve taken a short break from releasing episodes of The Happiest Saddest People. We took the break to accommodate the Gerhardt family transition to Ireland for the month of March. We’re here on a six-city Holy Ghost Stories tour, telling the story of creation alongside friends from Cornerstone City Church in Derry in partnership with 24/7 Prayer Ireland. How’s it going, you ask? Oh guys. So good. It’s like the room explodes with pulsing life every single time we tell the story.

A few pictures so far:

Also, Northern Ireland is really showing out.

Back on topic…

Here’s the most recent episode of The Happiest Saddest People. We’re more than halfway through!

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All the Things

Crying When the Spirit Hits

Not everyone will jibe with that first scene in Chapter 9, but even if you don’t use the same language to describe this experience or have a box to put these kinds of experiences in, my guess is that you may still know (in your gut) what I’m talking about. I ask the question, “What does it feel like when the Spirit of God comes over you?”

This does not have to be some charismatic, carried-away sensation (though it might be). It might just be that moment in worship when the lyrics hit square or that moment in the morning reading your Bible when you know exactly what God is trying to tell you or that quiet moment on a walk with your mom when everything is as it should be and there’s so much peace and joy between you you know you’ve stepped into some kind of supernatural light. What does it feel like to step into awareness of the presence of God? That’s the question. What’s your answer? (Comment below. I’d love to know.)

As I said in the episode, for me it’s usually tears. Tears are the body’s worship.

Queens

Two shout outs to excellent books by queens of writing:

Anne Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts. This book will outlive us all. It’s a modern classic.
Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking. I often see the world much differently than Didion does, but when she strikes gold it’s a rush.

Convicted by Musicals

Already in this story we’ve shared a powerful experience watching Les Mis on Broadway. And now Rent! You may be thinking, Man, this girl loves musicals. The truth is, I do not. But when God has something to tell you, He’ll use whatever’s available. He’ll find the Gerhardts again when Hamilton comes out on Disney+. If you ask him, Justin will tell you, Hamilton is on the list of reasons he started Holy Ghost Stories.

Living in Brooklyn

Other than the loneliness and the litany of terrible things that happened to us while we lived there, Justin and I loved living in Brooklyn Heights. For a long time we thought maybe we’d move back one day. Now we live in the polar opposite place—on two acres twenty minutes outside “town” in NW Arkansas. We love that too.

Here’s a pic of us outside our Remsen Street apartment a few years back:

This pic of the girls outside the apartment gives me all the feels:

And just in case you’re considering a stop in Brooklyn the next time you go to New York (you should totally go to Brooklyn) a few links to our favorite places:

Making Space

This quote is really at the heart of Chapter 9:

Because Bobby died, there’s space for Jesus, and when I ask Him to, He moves in. He takes all the space I make and then sets about His work of making and taking more.

I am convinced that the most difficult experiences of my life have had this hollowing out/filling up effect. It’s not inevitable that being emptied would lead to being filled—you have to pursue filling and you need to go to the right place for it. BUT—emptiness is underrated.

Side note: You don’t have to wait for terrible things to happen to you to make space for Jesus. As I tell every person I’ve ever mentored or discipled or taught for more than an hour: The most important thing you can do to grow in Christ is to aggressively make space for Him. This looks like dethroning idols. It looks like pruning your schedule. It looks like protecting times of rest and quiet. It looks like working less and scrolling less and eating less and watching less. Less, less, less makes room for more, more, more.

That Alabama Church

Have I said already that this memoir is turning into a serial love letter? A love letter to baptism. A love letter to Florida. And maybe a love letter to that Alabama church where Justin and I spiritually grew up. The patience they showed, the love they ladled—we’ll be forever grateful.

The Sad Lady

We said in Chapter 9: “There was something hospitable about my sadness. It made people feel seen and known. It went first and made room. I watched as sadness bloomed and stretched into a tabernacle in the wilderness. I welcomed refugees, the ones who knew they were very far from home.”

This really has been true. There’s just something about me—the shape God’s made me, the cool moon glow of God’s radiance on my face. People feel like they can tell me all the sad, hard things. Last week I took four calls in three days. Sometimes my husband asks if I’m okay, and I tell him the truth: I love listening. It doesn’t feel heavy at all.

This is a miracle.

Christmas Worship

I can’t fully explain how much I LOVED planning Christmas worship services for Round Rock Church of Christ. I had the most incredible team, and we did the most incredible things.

Here’s a picture of the shadow art I mentioned in the episode. My friend Bill Fox made it.